So after work I went out for dinner with two lady friends. They are both hot and on the rebound. I am a perfect genitalman. Anyway, we decided on Milestones (the one near the Paramount).
I like talking about food, so I'll regale you with what was had: We all shared the spinach & artichoke dip, which is warm and gooey and tasty in a way that nobody under the age of 20 could appreciate. We also had the calamari, which I think is my favourite calamari anywhere. It's thick and juicy like slices of steak. I'm pretty sure the Milestones chefs go on an expedition to the south pacific once a year and hunt a giant squid, then feed their patrons with its carcass until next season. Hat's off to those dudes.
Main course: In the interest of not violating anyone's privacy, I will not tell you what the girls had. Girls are crazy, and I've learned not to tell anyone anything about any choice a girl makes. I had the portobello chicken on capellini pasta. It was tasty but I didn't really pay much attention to it because we were talking about the girls' ex boyfriends and the circumstances surrounding their breakups.
Now let's be real subtle about my hypocrisy: One breakup involved cheating and malicious horrible things said, after a 6 year relationship. The other breakup was (I think) over a general understanding that the two are not meant for each other. A key hint might have come from the fact that he got her a box a of muffins for valentines day. It's the thought that counts though, right? right...
The highlight of the dinner had to be our server, Michael. He was a tool. I've never seen a guy try harder to pick up customers in my life. His game was off, though. First, he made sketchy choices, like pruning the girls' names from their credit cards. Second, he never chose which girl to focus his attention on. I can sympathize with him, as can any guy. You have a 50/50 situation if you make a choice, or a 0/100 shot if you make no obvious choice and neither girl is aggressive and makes a play. After we paid I went to the bathroom to give the guy his opening, so that my presence isn't threatening. He wasted his time dwelling on neither girl in particular and not closing the deal. Once I got back and we started to leave, he started saying a pretty awkward goodbye. For once, I was glad to not be the guy trying to close a deal. As we walked away I went a bit ahead, and I think the guy saw an opening, so he practically ran after us, but by the time he caught up at the door, I was standing there holding it open for the ladies, so he fumbled the ball, said goodnight and went back to the kitchen to whack off in the dip.
The lesson of the night? If you chase after people for one last chance... You had better take it! Mike: you fucked up brother. You make me look suave, and I have a blog!
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5 comments:
What the hell do you mean when you say the dip is beyond the appreciation of under-20s?
As far as I can tell you're either a) making a sexual reference, in which case 20 is a strange age or b) you're making some allusion to a necessary sophistication of the palate, in which case the fact that you are talking about food served at Milestones -- the Olive Garden's better looking brother -- makes the snobbery unintentionally humourous. Or was it intentional?
Help me understand.
I was being a palate snob. I don't know many younger people who would go after a spinach & artichoke dip. But ya! I was also being uhh... intentionally humorous. For all of those great reasons!
but G, anyone who bases snobbery on food at Milestones is actually revealing themselves as unsophisticated. Like me saying anyone who can't appreciate a McDonald's burger doesn't appreciate fine cuisine. Milestones is not a very good restaurant.
Well, I may as well reveal myself as unsophisticated...
Guys, I am unsophisticated.
Point taken, anyway.
What I was trying to say originally is that Gil of 19 years of age would not have appreciated the taste of spinach and artichoke, whereas Gil of 24 likes it very much. So I overgeneralized Gil to be a representation of the human race.
Finally, something we can all agree on.
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