I was set up with a nice girl a few weeks ago and went out with her a few times and things were going swimmingly. I convinced myself that I could date her even though there wasn't any "fire", just a kind of mutual warmth that I thought could be built on. Anyway, as last weekend approached I called her, didn't hear back, and by Saturday was fully convinced that it was over and I should move on. That night I went out and did pretty well for myself. I met a ton of people and picked up a new lady. Then on Sunday, girl #1 called me up and said she'd been busy all weekend etc and I was left thinking things were back on with her. For 48 hours I walked around thinking I was some Casanova who all of a sudden has to juggle two women at once. I was on a roll.
Then on Tuesday night I get another call from the girl and she tells me she feels that something is missing and that we shouldn't see each other again. I kind of had the same feeling of something missing but I didn't tell her as much because there was no point. The point was that I was being dumped, and even though it was no big loss, my ego still took a kick to its groin, wherever that is.
That night I went to bed early expecting to have trouble sleeping. I vastly underestimated the shittyness of what lay ahead. I had trouble sleeping, and not because I was dwelling on the girl so much as my own bruised expectations and so forth. Eventually, despite my stomach hurting from bad chicken wings, and me sweating like someone dying from the plague, I fell asleep. In my dream I was inside computer code. I was flying around between the text of some piece of code I had recently written and I was being tossed around between parts of it according to the program logic. I knew why I was stuck there being passed back and forth with no end, but I was helpless to do anything about it. Very geeky nightmare. I woke up about 3 hours later, and had some more tossing, turning, sweating, kvetching, and other *ings that made me think of calling in sick come morning.
I ended up going to work and staying there all day.
I still have plans with girl #2 on Friday, hopefully that'll get me back on my game. After discussing with friends the dumping etc, I am still left unsure which I would have preferred: Her not calling me, and me having to interpret that as rejection, or her calling me and saying it clearly, though without me asking for a clear reason (not that she could provide one anyway).
So that's that, everything is a wave. For a while I was riding the crest, and inevitably that has to balance out with a trough. I have every reason to be optimistic though, because girls seem to fall for my sincere honest guy act a lot more these days. I guess I'm getting better at it.
This picture was taken just before I had reason to make the face:
(I'm not really bitter or a curmudgeon... I just think this is a funny face)
